Posts Tagged ‘funny’
Cloudy with a Chance of Sh*t Coins
A comical explanation about investing in cryptocurrency for newbies.
Read MoreHey is Not for Horses!
Source Have you ever been called a jackass for using the word “hey”? “Hay is for horses,” they say. Then they get mean and ornery and say, “Aren’t you glad you’re a jackass!” That’s not nice! Who are these people? Idiots? Do they not like interjections? Are they not aware that “hey” is a very…
Read MoreSperm Banks and Vasectomies
Winner of Steemit’s @ComedyOpenMic Weekly Comedy Contest (Round 22). Sperm banks and vasectomies are two things that I typically avoid talking about: Simply because I never want to have the latter and the former creeps me out! So it was surprising when my Canadian buddy, Dickie, brought both of them up in a recent…
Read MoreThe Squeaky Wheel
The worst wheel on the cart makes the most noise. –Benjamin Franklin Hey, have you heard this: The squeaky wheel gets all the grease? Ain’t that the god’s honest truth! The squeaky wheel gets all the attention, don’t it! Let me tell you, this rubber head that I work with just doesn’t know how to…
Read MoreUFO No-Go
“I brought this pistol because you never know about these aliens: You don’t know if they want to fuck you, fight you or fillet you!” “We interrupt this regularly scheduled broadcast for a news flash,” says Tom Tinkerton at WBLO’s international studios in Atlanta, Georgia. “A UFO has just been sited near Rawhide, Nevada. WBLO’s ace…
Read MoreWhen Not to Mention a Booger
Do I raise a fuss and cause an international incident over a booger? A few years ago I was in Shenzhen, China—a megacity across the border from Hong Kong—and in the mood for a movie. After walking to a brand new theater in an upscale mall called The MixC, I approached a cute ticket agent and instantly…
Read MoreProductivity Hacks from Successful Early Birds
Hey, have you heard this, “The early bird gets the worm”? Today’s post is all about productivity and how we can squeeze every ounce out of our day. But there’s more, you’ll also learn about opportunistic animals and how you too can avoid the pitfalls of certain unlucky critters and potentially turn your life around…
Read MoreMastering the Squat Shitter
Mastering the Squat Shitter (Excerpt from “Totally Losing Face and Other Stories“) Upon arriving in Singapore, the Lion City, I was overcome by an incredible urge to deposit some waste. I pushed my luggage cart aimlessly around the airport until I noticed a bright blue and white sign with an arrow that said, “Toilets.” Bingo.…
Read MoreMonkeys Gone Mental
Hey, have you heard this: Monkey’s have a sense of fairness. Scientists have discovered that if you teach a monkey to exchange a rock for food, the monkeys can get upset if they aren’t treated fairly. In an experiment conducted by researchers at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, two monkeys were given one…
Read MoreWho the Hell Named the Honey Badger
Hey, have you heard this term “Centigrade”? I was talking to a Chinese person the other day, in English, and I mentioned “Celsius”. The person seemed confused at first, then corrected me with “Centigrade”. So I looked it up. Turns out the man who created the Celsius scale is actually named “Celsius”. His…
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