Cloudy with a Chance of Sh*t Coins
A comical explanation about investing in cryptocurrency for newbies.
Read MoreThe Big Wow: A Psychonaut’s Amazing DMT Journey
The following is an excerpt from this short story. That trip was insanely wowwer than wow; it was the Big Wow! And I mean BIG! Mind-blowingly BIG! My body sang with celestial wonderment as supernova chakra electrified every atom of my core! Warning: DMT is an incredibly powerful drug! According to some experts, it can…
Read MoreThe Horrifying Darkness Behind that Old Adage ‘Don’t Put Your Eggs in One Basket’
The three-man Canadian rock group Triumph once famously warbled, “You’ve gotta lay it on the line.” The research actually supports this notion: Those who totally laid it all on the line and focused on one task way outperformed multitaskers.
Read MoreLife Lessons from an ex-Blackjack Dealer
Country music legend Kenny Rogers used to croon about knowing “when to hold ’em” and knowing “when to fold ‘em”. As a former blackjack dealer, I learned a thing or two on the other side of the table. Lesson 1: Gaining an Edge Always learn everything you can about a game before you sit down…
Read MoreHow to light a fart on fire and not burn down the house or singe the pets
Are you one of those sick fucks who just let’s your farts come out willy-nilly? Don’t care who you gas as long as you get it out of your ass? Don’t care who’s nostrils you infect? You go over to friends’ and family’s houses and just let her rip from the moment you arrive till…
Read MoreFiery Hemorrhoid Remedy
Has your asspipe ever been in so much pain that you couldn’t stand or sit without wanting to scream? If not, consider yourself lucky! However, if you know what I’m talking about, then I think I have a quick solution for you. It’s not a cure, but it could quench the sudden pain flaring up from…
Read MoreHey is Not for Horses!
Source Have you ever been called a jackass for using the word “hey”? “Hay is for horses,” they say. Then they get mean and ornery and say, “Aren’t you glad you’re a jackass!” That’s not nice! Who are these people? Idiots? Do they not like interjections? Are they not aware that “hey” is a very…
Read MoreSperm Banks and Vasectomies
Winner of Steemit’s @ComedyOpenMic Weekly Comedy Contest (Round 22). Sperm banks and vasectomies are two things that I typically avoid talking about: Simply because I never want to have the latter and the former creeps me out! So it was surprising when my Canadian buddy, Dickie, brought both of them up in a recent…
Read MoreThe Squeaky Wheel
The worst wheel on the cart makes the most noise. –Benjamin Franklin Hey, have you heard this: The squeaky wheel gets all the grease? Ain’t that the god’s honest truth! The squeaky wheel gets all the attention, don’t it! Let me tell you, this rubber head that I work with just doesn’t know how to…
Read MoreUFO No-Go
“I brought this pistol because you never know about these aliens: You don’t know if they want to fuck you, fight you or fillet you!” “We interrupt this regularly scheduled broadcast for a news flash,” says Tom Tinkerton at WBLO’s international studios in Atlanta, Georgia. “A UFO has just been sited near Rawhide, Nevada. WBLO’s ace…
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