Cat Apology

We had been together for five years through thick and thin and I knew he was pissed off, rightfully so. I was sitting in my downtown Austin, Texas apartment when my buddy Carl came over. He was way down in the mouth and moody. We had both gone to UT together and had both recently…

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When Not to Mention a Booger

  Do I raise a fuss and cause an international incident over a booger? A few years ago I was in Shenzhen, China—a megacity across the border from Hong Kong—and in the mood for a movie. After walking to a brand new theater in an upscale mall called The MixC, I approached a cute ticket agent and instantly…

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The Weed Fashionista

You ever see a beautiful woman and you can’t help but talk to her? Well, one day while walking through the Cloud 9 department store above the Zhongshan Park metro station in Shanghai, I noticed an amazingly attractive young woman dressed in an outfit that screamed: Hey, I love weed! She wore a backpack designed with colors from the…

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Chappelle on Shemales

I was like, “Bitch, you sucked so much dick tonight there’s not one dry ball sack left!” –Dave Chappelle Warning: Strong language and adult situations. Hi, Dave Chappelle here with a serious question: Guys, you ever suck dick before? I mean, like just get the shaft all down your throat, balls whacking your chin, pubes…

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Star Trek Discovery Fan Fiction: Asteroids Amongst Us

Illustrated by CaliComics Hey, have you seen this new TV show, Star Trek Discovery? If not, spoiler alert! I recently watched the first nine episodes of the new sci-fi series out on CBS. I liked the special effects, the ship’s design, the new uniforms, the cinematography, and the acting wasn’t half bad. However, the story, especially…

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Amazing Ants and Hardcore Toothpaste

    One of my earliest childhood memories is being out on the front yard in the midday sun, minding my own business, watching my older brother mow the lawn. I sat down on a freshly cut area of grass and absorbed the heat from the sun and revealed at the joy of being alive.…

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Productivity Hacks from Successful Early Birds

  Photo by Brocken Inaglory at commons.wikimedia.org   Hey, have you heard this, “The early bird gets the worm”? Today’s post is all about productivity and how we can squeeze every ounce out of our day. But there’s more, you’ll also learn about opportunistic animals and how you too can avoid the pitfalls of certain…

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Gareth’s Dilemma

  Gareth’s Dilemma (Excerpt from “Totally Losing Face and Other Stories“) It was late September as Gareth strutted into the break room where myself and all the secretaries were eating dinner. I was managing an English language school in Taipei, Taiwan and Gareth was one of my new recruits. He smiled and said “hi” to…

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An Open Window

An Open Window (Excerpt from “Totally Losing Face and Other Stories“)   There’s an open window on my right And a closed door on my left The sun is dipping The sky’s an angry wild beast My bird has taken flight Chaos is in control There’s an open window Yes, an open window Closing quickly…

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