Chappelle on Shemales

I was like, “Bitch, you sucked so much dick tonight there’s not one dry ball sack left!” –Dave Chappelle Warning: Strong language and adult situations. Hi, Dave Chappelle here with a serious question: Guys, you ever suck dick before? I mean, like just get the shaft all down your throat, balls whacking your chin, pubes…

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Star Trek Discovery Fan Fiction: Asteroids Amongst Us

Illustrated by CaliComics Hey, have you seen this new TV show, Star Trek Discovery? If not, spoiler alert! I recently watched the first nine episodes of the new sci-fi series out on CBS. I liked the special effects, the ship’s design, the new uniforms, the cinematography, and the acting wasn’t half bad. However, the story, especially…

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Amazing Ants and Hardcore Toothpaste

    One of my earliest childhood memories is being out on the front yard in the midday sun, minding my own business, watching my older brother mow the lawn. I sat down on a freshly cut area of grass and absorbed the heat from the sun and revealed at the joy of being alive.…

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Productivity Hacks from Successful Early Birds

  Photo by Brocken Inaglory at commons.wikimedia.org   Hey, have you heard this, “The early bird gets the worm”? Today’s post is all about productivity and how we can squeeze every ounce out of our day. But there’s more, you’ll also learn about opportunistic animals and how you too can avoid the pitfalls of certain…

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Gareth’s Dilemma

  Gareth’s Dilemma (Excerpt from “Totally Losing Face and Other Stories“) It was late September as Gareth strutted into the break room where myself and all the secretaries were eating dinner. I was managing an English language school in Taipei, Taiwan and Gareth was one of my new recruits. He smiled and said “hi” to…

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An Open Window

An Open Window (Excerpt from “Totally Losing Face and Other Stories“)   There’s an open window on my right And a closed door on my left The sun is dipping The sky’s an angry wild beast My bird has taken flight Chaos is in control There’s an open window Yes, an open window Closing quickly…

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Lessons From the Big Leagues

Illustrated by Cyrus Hunter   (Excerpt from “Totally Losing Face and Other Stories“)   Used to play ball in the streets With my friends in our bare feet Dreaming the summer away Waiting for a better day High School seems like yesterday Stayed on the lofty path I laid Had passion, had desire And a…

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The Fart Lover

(Excerpt from “Totally Losing Face and Other Stories“)   The joy of farting never seems to lose its luster While people age and pictures fade, a good fart still goes a long way My best friend can muster one up at will He stops and poses, squinting his face tightly As he sticks his ass…

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Mastering the Squat Shitter

Mastering the Squat Shitter (Excerpt from “Totally Losing Face and Other Stories“) Upon arriving in Singapore, the Lion City, I was overcome by an incredible urge to deposit some waste. I pushed my luggage cart aimlessly around the airport until I noticed a bright blue and white sign with an arrow that said, “Toilets.” Bingo.…

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