Humor
Cloudy with a Chance of Sh*t Coins
A comical explanation about investing in cryptocurrency for newbies.
Read MoreHow to light a fart on fire and not burn down the house or singe the pets
Are you one of those sick fucks who just let’s your farts come out willy-nilly? Don’t care who you gas as long as you get it out of your ass? Don’t care who’s nostrils you infect? You go over to friends’ and family’s houses and just let her rip from the moment you arrive till…
Read MoreHey is Not for Horses!
Source Have you ever been called a jackass for using the word “hey”? “Hay is for horses,” they say. Then they get mean and ornery and say, “Aren’t you glad you’re a jackass!” That’s not nice! Who are these people? Idiots? Do they not like interjections? Are they not aware that “hey” is a very…
Read MoreSperm Banks and Vasectomies
Winner of Steemit’s @ComedyOpenMic Weekly Comedy Contest (Round 22). Sperm banks and vasectomies are two things that I typically avoid talking about: Simply because I never want to have the latter and the former creeps me out! So it was surprising when my Canadian buddy, Dickie, brought both of them up in a recent…
Read MoreThe Squeaky Wheel
The worst wheel on the cart makes the most noise. –Benjamin Franklin Hey, have you heard this: The squeaky wheel gets all the grease? Ain’t that the god’s honest truth! The squeaky wheel gets all the attention, don’t it! Let me tell you, this rubber head that I work with just doesn’t know how to…
Read MoreCat Apology
We had been together for five years, through thick and thin, and I knew he was pissed off, rightfully so. I had to apologize to my cat the other day. It’s a long story, but essentially this is what went down. My cat, Sebastian, was sitting on the couch a few weeks ago getting high,…
Read MoreWhen Not to Mention a Booger
Do I raise a fuss and cause an international incident over a booger? A few years ago I was in Shenzhen, China—a megacity across the border from Hong Kong—and in the mood for a movie. After walking to a brand new theater in an upscale mall called The MixC, I approached a cute ticket agent and instantly…
Read MoreThe Weed Fashionista
You ever see a beautiful woman and you can’t help but talk to her? Well, one day while walking through the Cloud 9 department store above the Zhongshan Park metro station in Shanghai, I noticed an amazingly attractive young woman dressed in an outfit that screamed: Hey, I love weed! She wore a backpack designed with colors from the…
Read MoreFacebook to buy IBM in massive stock swap valued at over $100 Billion USD (Spoof)
Source Menlo Park, CALIFORNIA (April 1st, 2019): Facebook, the undisputed social media king, today announced that it plans to buy IBM, a global technology powerhouse, for a stock swop estimated to be valued at well over US$100 billion. The newly merged company, iFaceBMBook, is expected to bring a vast number of under-aged consumers to IBM…
Read MoreProductivity Hacks from Successful Early Birds
Hey, have you heard this, “The early bird gets the worm”? Today’s post is all about productivity and how we can squeeze every ounce out of our day. But there’s more, you’ll also learn about opportunistic animals and how you too can avoid the pitfalls of certain unlucky critters and potentially turn your life around…
Read More