The Fart Lover

Courtesy Pixabay and Derneuemann
(Excerpt from “Totally Losing Face and Other Stories“)
The joy of farting never seems to lose its luster
While people age and pictures fade, a good fart still goes a long way
My best friend can muster one up at will
He stops and poses, squinting his face tightly
As he sticks his ass up high in the air
He clenches his right fist and raises it
Then all at once, he squeaks out a polysyllabic tone
That almost sings as it rumbles out full-blown
He simultaneously pumps his fist up and down to his self-made beat
As the long-winded wonder slowly ends, he marvels at his feat
Thrusting his hands out and up, as if signing his creation
Then he chuckles with glee and inhales cautiously
If it smells, he makes a face and quickly waves his musky abortion away
And if it doesn’t, he giggles softly and lets out a crazed cry of satisfaction
He farts early in the morning and late at night
And anywhere in between with much delight
He gasses planes, trains and automobiles
Planting his smelly seed wherever he roams
Never with the slightest care to atone
I don’t know if it’s possible
But if I could bronze a fart
I’d bronze one of his for all to enjoy
As much as he does.
***
“The Fart Lover” is a poem in Hillel Groovatti’s new book of short fiction entitled Totally Losing Face and Other Stories.