Posts Tagged ‘humor’
The Horrifying Darkness Behind that Old Adage ‘Don’t Put Your Eggs in One Basket’
The three-man Canadian rock group Triumph once famously warbled, “You’ve gotta lay it on the line.” The research actually supports this notion: Those who totally laid it all on the line and focused on one task way outperformed multitaskers.
Read MoreHow to light a fart on fire and not burn down the house or singe the pets
Are you one of those sick fucks who just let’s your farts come out willy-nilly? Don’t care who you gas as long as you get it out of your ass? Don’t care who’s nostrils you infect? You go over to friends’ and family’s houses and just let her rip from the moment you arrive till…
Read MoreFiery Hemorrhoid Remedy
Has your asspipe ever been in so much pain that you couldn’t stand or sit without wanting to scream? If not, consider yourself lucky! However, if you know what I’m talking about, then I think I have a quick solution for you. It’s not a cure, but it could quench the sudden pain flaring up from…
Read MoreHey is Not for Horses!
Source Have you ever been called a jackass for using the word “hey”? “Hay is for horses,” they say. Then they get mean and ornery and say, “Aren’t you glad you’re a jackass!” That’s not nice! Who are these people? Idiots? Do they not like interjections? Are they not aware that “hey” is a very…
Read MoreSperm Banks and Vasectomies
Winner of Steemit’s @ComedyOpenMic Weekly Comedy Contest (Round 22). Sperm banks and vasectomies are two things that I typically avoid talking about: Simply because I never want to have the latter and the former creeps me out! So it was surprising when my Canadian buddy, Dickie, brought both of them up in a recent…
Read MoreThe Squeaky Wheel
The worst wheel on the cart makes the most noise. –Benjamin Franklin Hey, have you heard this: The squeaky wheel gets all the grease? Ain’t that the god’s honest truth! The squeaky wheel gets all the attention, don’t it! Let me tell you, this rubber head that I work with just doesn’t know how to…
Read MoreWhen Not to Mention a Booger
Do I raise a fuss and cause an international incident over a booger? A few years ago I was in Shenzhen, China—a megacity across the border from Hong Kong—and in the mood for a movie. After walking to a brand new theater in an upscale mall called The MixC, I approached a cute ticket agent and instantly…
Read MoreThe Weed Fashionista
You ever see a beautiful woman and you can’t help but talk to her? Well, one day while walking through the Cloud 9 department store above the Zhongshan Park metro station in Shanghai, I noticed an amazingly attractive young woman dressed in an outfit that screamed: Hey, I love weed! She wore a backpack designed with colors from the…
Read MoreChappelle on Shemales
I was like, “Bitch, you sucked so much dick tonight there’s not one dry ball sack left!” –Dave Chappelle Winner of Steemit’s @ComedyOpenMic Contest Round 8 Warning: Strong language and adult situations. Below is an imaginary stand-up comedy performance by legendary comedian Dave Chappelle. Hi, Dave Chappelle here with a serious question: Guys, you ever…
Read MoreStar Trek Discovery Fan Fiction: Asteroids Amongst Us
Illustrated by CaliComics Hey, have you seen this new TV show, Star Trek Discovery? If not, spoiler alert! I recently watched the first nine episodes of the new sci-fi series out on CBS. I liked the special effects, the ship’s design, the new uniforms, the cinematography, and the acting wasn’t half bad. However, the story, especially…
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