Lessons From the Big Leagues
Illustrated by Cyrus Hunter
(Excerpt from “Totally Losing Face and Other Stories“)
Used to play ball in the streets
With my friends in our bare feet
Dreaming the summer away
Waiting for a better day
High School seems like yesterday
Stayed on the lofty path I laid
Had passion, had desire
And a right arm full of fire
College days were a maze
Of babes and booze and full-on rage
Had a knack for the game
Quickly made myself a name
I hit the real world running
Played the field with pistols gunning
Slugged it out in my minor’s hat
Biding my time, whittling my bat
One glorious day, the phone she rang
My manager, big bucks he sang
Then came the big leagues
New balls and leaches
Big money and beaches
Catching grounders, snagging flies
Signing cards, telling lies
Meeting babes, eating pies
Rain delays and superdomes
Cold beer in styrofoam
Playing ball far from home
Look Ma, I’m on TV!
Sometimes I felt it was all a dream
The money, the fame, the scene
Old timers used to say
Soak it up now, before it goes away
One thing’s for sure, I paid my dues
Gonna get what’s coming before I’m through
I wanna be a better man
I wanna be a better man
One season I found myself in a strange funk
Couldn’t hit my mark, couldn’t hit bunk
Then the devil took me by the hand
Guided me towards the Promised Land
In a mental lapse
Started injecting
Synthetic rainbows
Right into my ass
I wanna be a better man
I wanna be a better man
Suddenly found my mark
Started hitting balls outta the park
Then I was everybody’s darling
Talk shows and Rodeos
State parades and cameos
Kissing babies, selling fries
Home runs and RBIs
Grand standing in Cleveland
Highballing in Oakland
Pounding beers and snorting mills
Smoking grass, popping pills
Living it up, burning bills
Look Dad, I’m MVP!
One day on a wicked mean streak
Hitting my stride, way past my peak
Locked on third, waving at the fans
Wild pitch, go for it man!
Split for home in a fury
Catcher got back in a hurry
Approaching home I dug in deep
I launched my body in a heap
Collided with the catcher in a BOOM!
They swept me up with a broom
My doc, he said with a moan
I think it’s time you called it quits, headed for home
My dreams they were shattered
My world it was scattered!
My mind raced, my heart sank
My body, my temple had just been tanked!
What price fame?
What price fame?
So now I’m living in a crack house
Living in a crack house
Got a big gut, can’t bust a nut
Feeling like a punk, can’t make a buck
Flying like a puck, stuck in a rut
Face full of cuts, smoking old butts
I wanna fade away
I wanna fade away
I’m living in a crack house
Living in a crack house
Got bitch tits and nasty gits
Gummy mitts and smelly pits
Runny shits and funky dits
Full of hits and dirty bits
I’m living in a crack house
Living in a crack house
Feeling like a white mouse
Feeling like a white mouse
Living in a crack house
Living in a crack house.
***
“Lessons from the Big Leagues” is a poem in Hillel Groovatti’s new book of short fiction entitled Totally Losing Face and Other Stories.