Life Lessons from an ex-Blackjack Dealer
Country music legend Kenny Rogers used to croon about knowing “when to hold ’em” and knowing “when to fold ‘em”. As a former blackjack dealer, I learned a thing or two on the other side of the table.
Lesson 1: Gaining an Edge
Always learn everything you can about a game before you sit down and risk your hard earned money on it.
Lesson 2: Sitting Out
If the cards aren’t going your way, sit out a hand or two. Sometimes simply pausing and letting a few hands go by is enough to change your luck.
Lesson 3: Working Harder
If the cards still aren’t going your way, try playing two or more hands. Sometimes working a bit harder and spending a bit more is enough to get you back on track.
Lesson 4: Changing the Dealer
If the cards are still shitty, change the dealer. Sometimes simply trying a new location is enough to make it rain.
Lesson 5: Budgeting
Only play with money you’re willing to lose. Sometimes, betting the house might pay off, but more often than not, it’s a one-way ticket to Palookaville.
Lesson 6: Winning Streaks
Never, ever fuck with a winning streak! If everything is going your way, don’t change a thing! Simply ride it out to glory. Don’t play additional hands, don’t invite friends to play with you, and never let a new player try to join in. If someone does sit down at the table when you literally can’t lose, tell them to wait until your winning streak ends before they play.
Lesson 7: Helping Others
Never let someone gamble with your money if they don’t know what the hell they’re doing. Some players on a streak will slowly give their winnings away to inexperienced players and at the end of the night, find out that they’re down instead of being way up.
Lesson 8: Containing Your Emotions
Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. If you’re losing, don’t yell at the staff, your friends, or other players. Simply walk away and try again some other day.
Lesson 9: Chasing
Never chase your losses. If you’re down, quit, regroup, and try again once you’re financially ready.
Lesson 10: Overdoing It
If you’re doing it every day and you can’t stop and it’s ruining your life, then it’s an addiction. Do yourself and your loved ones a favor by seeking professional help!
Lesson 11: Winning Pretty
If you do end up winning, don’t stick around and pump all your money back into the casino. Instead, move on and celebrate, you deserve it!
Previously on Groovatti
Thank you for reading “Life Lessons from an ex-Blackjack Dealer”!
Check out some of my other stories:
- How to light a fart on fire and not burn down the house or singe the pets
- Fiery Hemorrhoid Remedy
- Hey is Not for Horses
- The Big Wow: A Psychonaut’s Amazing DMT Journey
- Sperm Banks and Vasectomies (Winner of Steemit’s ComedyOpenMic Weekly Comedy Contest Round 22)
- The Squeaky Wheel
- UFO No-Go
- Cat Apology
- When Not to Mention a Booger
- The Weed Fashionista
- Chappelle on Shemales (Winner of Steemit’s ComedyOpenMic Contest Round 8)
- Star Trek Discovery Fan Fiction: Asteroids Amongst Us
Main image courtesy englishlikeanative @ Pixabay.
Leave a Comment